The concept of velcro is for children who don't know how to tie their shoes.

Velcro is lame for adults.

If you possess velcro sneakers, you're either
1) An elderly person rocking old school Reebok
2) A child molester who also has the light-up sneakers to attract children.

Like I said, velcro is lame.
But not anymore.

I would prefer these velcro mamma jammas to tying my laces anyday!

Besides, laces are troublesome when you don't want them viewed (i.e. tucking them into the sides of your shoes, tying them behind the tongue) but in this case, you can strap them on and go.

Only problem...

Where the hell am I going to get $980.00 from?

Maybe Obama's stimulus plan can help me out.